Quote for the Day

"The real democratic American ideal is, not that every man shall be on a level with every other man, but that every man shall have liberty to be what God made him, without hindrance." -- Henry Ward Beecher

A Model of Political/Financial Systems: Using Cows

I wish that I could take credit for this witty (scarily true) post. I have to print it in its entirety it is so good. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

OBAMANOMICS

You have 2 cows both are sick, you spend $787 billion on Pork, and wonder why the cows died. But you still own 2 failing auto manufacturers, a busted insurance firm, and a bunch of banks. You can do this only because you won the election!

[source]

If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot

It happened once already. That is how the Democrats gained control of Congress. However after all the corruption that was brought to light in the Republican party let us now take a look at issues going on in the Democratic party:

"Barack Obama, who vowed he'd provide a transparent administration staffed with disinterested public servants...appointed an admitted tax cheat to run the Treasury Department -- and he's hardly the only one in the administration." [link]

Charles Rangle, Chairman of House Ways and Means Committee: Under investigation for failing to report income from his Caribbean villa.

Chris Dodd, Chairman of Senate Banking Committee: Got special deals from sub prime lender Countrywide, has yet to explain million plus dollar "cottage" in Ireland which could possibly have come as a favor for helping to get a pardon granted for a felon under Clinton.

Jack Murtha, Rep. Pennsylvania: How much federal money has he diverted to cronies and lobbyists?

John Edwards, ex-presidential candidate: Being investigated for misuse of campaign funds that were funneled to his then mistress and her company.

This is just a sampling of what is going on within the Democratic party. Imagine all the corruption that has not made it into the public yet. Sort of like an iceberg I like to think we have only seen the 10% that is above the waterline.